I am Back.......... I think

It's been so long since I've been around the blog-sphere, almost 4 years, it started a couple of weeks ago I was bored stumbled across a blog. kept reading all night through and after a while , Like usual, thoughts started racing through my head and I wanted to vent so I opened a word sheet and wrote few words. and discovered that I missed blogging. I wrote a few very small posts (and in Arabic) in my other blog, because it's titled thoughts and they were just a few random thoughts and then I decided to today to take a look here and I was surprised ( pleasantly) with my old posts and decide to be back for good , or until I get bored again.

Facebook Tag

i got this Tag from Facebook and I've done it at facebook, but I thought you that my blog is just as important as my Facebook profile. so here it goes

25 random and boring facts about me

1- I find it very hard to talk about me.
2- Uptill last week I've never had a Crush
3- I have 2 blogs and they are very important to me
4- I am very attached to my family
5- I write Poetry, that I believe sucks
6- I've Never Traveled outside Egypt
7- I Love My nieces Very Much
8- Sometimes I'd go to a new website and write my email and password to find out I already have an account there
9- I am 5' 3 inch tall
10- I don't like it when people talk about my weight.
11- I Like to keep to myself
12- I don't like to feel ignored
13- I miss working in the EGC, more than I admit to myself.
14- I also Miss all the Exempted
15- I don't like to feel like I need anyone
16- I like to feel needed
17- Right Now I am bored out of my mind and feel like killing Zina* (J\K :D )
18- I Like to follow the rules
19- I am a very Curious person
20- I hate Crowds
21- I am a Librarian
22- I hate boosting around, but sometimes I love showing off (go figure that one out LOL)
23- I am very Judgmental
24- I love reading , TV and Music, and yesterdays I was combing them all together, by reading while watching the Grammys'
25- I Know no one will read that.

*Zina is the Person who tagged me at facebook

Tolerance

what is Tolerance?
the simple definition is to accept the other person.
but what exactly do they mean when they say Accept. does it mean treating that person good and respect his/her believes , or respect that person and respect his/her believes, or treat that person with respect and keep my feelings to myself.
it seems that everyone Demand Respect, every single person wants the rest of the world to respect his/her believe. but can anyone really do it?
Can you respect the other persons believes even if you think they are idiotic and makes no sense to you at all?
Lately America has been asking Egyptians to have more Tolerance toward the somewhat minority Christians. Personally I believe that if anyone should lecture us about Tolerance it would never be the Americans. with all due respect to the great American Civilization. Don't Throw Rocks When You Are in a Glass House. Go fix your Racism, gay rights for marriage and your xenophobia and islamophobia then come and tell us what we should do.
I won't say that Christine life in Egypt is an endless sunshine. I am sure they get picked on based on their religion. but in Egypt every on get picked on for one reason or another. In Egypt we are all oppressed and we all oppress any one we can, just because we can.
What I find impressive is that the amount of foreigners who scream their lungs out that Egypt (and Arab world) should be more tolerant, I've met also met Screaming their lungs out that Islam is an evil Religion that should be terminated because it's the civilized thing to do.
if you talk to them about tolerance they talk to you about freedom of speech.
it's like they (the civilized) enjoy the freedom of speech while YOU (the uncivilized in their eyes ) should remember to be tolerant. and they honestly can't see the double standerds no matter how hard you can point it out.
I am done trying to expect any productive conversation with people from so-called civilized country.

Websites

Create Fake Magazine Covers with your own picture at MagMyPic.com

Today I've been Discovering the Magnificent world of what i call the photo changing websites. the Idea is simple you upload your photo and then they'll change something in it.
One of the most famous web pages is yearbookyourself.com, in had earned an enormouse amount of popularity through Facebook.
yearbookyourself.com give you alot of what if's scenariose. it's fun and it waste quite amount of time.
facedouble.com tell you who is your celebraty facedouble (you look alike)
and so does myheritage.com, with an addition called morph. which slowly turns you to whoever celebreity the web site thinks you look like.
Funny thing is that I posted the same picture on both sites and they both got my 2 differnet lists, none of which had one name in common.
pikipimp.com Let you upload your pic, then add stuff on it, like glasses , hats and tattoos.
magmypic.com is another site popular with facebook user, you upload your photo and then the site will give it a Magazine cover, look.
those are the only ones I found worth while. do you have any?

P.s the baby in the Pic. is my Niece.

The Dream

The following post is based upon a dream I had, I wasn't gonna write anything about it for so long, but it kept haunting me. excuse the corny , pushed dialogue. I've always sucked at writing dialogue.
I know it's too long. if you got bored at the middle just stop reading and leave a comment.
^_^

-1-

When Mr. Abachy opened the door, the expression of his face was instantly transformed. It annoyed him that someone would come at this time of night, he didn’t feel like talking to anyone even for a small amount of time but after seeing the dirty face of his son, Jason, the annoyance quickly turned into happiness. As always it was happiness mixed with sadness, although He hasn’t seen his son Jason for months and he was worried. It still pained him to see how low his son had sunk. He then noticed a girl was standing next to him, she looked clean well put, not the type of person that would hang with Jason in his current state. He invited both of them in trying to shake away the sadness in his heart.

The moment Abe Jason’s father opened the door Jason knew it was a mistake coming here; Phoebe had begged him for days to let her. Against his best judgment he bulked in . His father hadn’t seen him for months, but sometimes he’d pass and checked the lights in his father bedroom. He promised himself that he won’t deal with his father, if he doesn’t want to but he broke that promise just like he broke almost every one he made to himself. Somehow the old man’s opinion still gets to him, The resentment he saw in his father’s face made him want to run, he was about to leave when his father invited them both in. it was no use backing up now, so He went in trying to shake away the dread he felt in his heart.

Phoebe hoped some good will come out of this. Jason’s father seemed like a nice old man she could easily see relieve on his face when he saw Jason, but she could also detected sadness. It was expected under the circumstances. She could sense Jason’s fear arising, he was panicking like when he first did, when she asked to meet his family. It amazed her how they didn’t converse with each other at all, but still managed to seem like they were having a conversation. Mr. Abachy took a step back and motioned for them to come in. she felt the hesitation from Jason, then just when she though he'd run away he went in. she followed him in hoping for the best.

-2-

Mr. Abachy knew his time was limited and he had to make the phone call as fast and as discreetly as possible. Instead of walking to the bathroom he hurried to the phone.
There he made the phone call. All he has to do now was, wait. He’s always been bad at waiting; it wasn’t in his nature to just wait. But lately his life had been summoned down to waiting. Wait for his son to come by. Wait for him to regain his mind or desire to live or whatever he lost, and gets out of that mess he calls life. Wait for death to come by. All he had to do was, wait.

His father had excused himself to the bathroom. But Jason knows that’s not it. He knows that despite saying otherwise, his father hates seeing him. He pretends he doesn’t, but Jason could easily see the resentment and disappointment in his father’s eyes. He cursed himself for being dumb enough to come here again to be judged and ridiculed and promised himself never again would he come back. This time when he walks out that door it will be forever. He started soaking up every detail of the house and carves it in his heart before he forever leaves.

The dynamic between those 2 was amazing to Phoebe, their pain and fear was so obvious and out there. But they both seem only capable of see their own individual pain and blind to see the other's. They didn’t need to talk to each other, she doubted that they would even hear each other if they tried. Each one of them was so filled up with his own emotion to even acknowledge the other’s. Mr. Abachy seemed like a friendly, nice person, nothing what Jason has described. He was taking too long she hoped he’d come back soon cause she suspected that Jason was getting ready to leave whether his father came back or not.

-3-

Jason - I am leaving
Mr. Abachy - but we didn't have any time to talk, and I haven’t got to know your friend. I don’t even know her name.
Jason - Well if you cared about that you would‘ve stayed here instead of hiding in your room
Mr. Abachy - Hiding! Who’s hiding? I was in the bathroom
Jason - Please! Couldn’t you’ve done better than that? A better excuse, I never knew that you need 20 minutes to take a piss
Mr. Abachy - I didn’t know there was a time limit?
Jason - whatever! I am leaving and I wouldn’t count on seeing me again
Mr. Abachy - Just wait 5 more minutes.
Jason - WHAT? What the fuck you are talking about?
Mr. Abachy - I said just stay 5 more minutes.
Jason - You gotta be fucking me, so what did you order this time? Some groceries or maybe a hot meal for your god damn homeless son
Phoebe - Jason I think you need to calm down.
Jason - Calm down! You were asking how come I never come here, because this old man is always trying to cram down some meal down my throat like am some kind of fucken beggar, not his god damn son. I am here to fucken see you not trying to score a stupid meal.
Mr. Abachy - I know how hard life on the street is.I… I only want to make sure you are ….. Fine.
Jason - Really? How about the rest of the 365 days when am not here.
Mr. Abachy - I can’t control these, I just wish you’d come back here …. More often, I mean.
Jason - then maybe you should stop acting like the fucken king of universe. am outta here.

-4-

When Mr. Abachy went to his living room he was hoping that his relatively long absence would go unnoticed. But as soon as he went inside his son declared his intention to leave. He tried to get him to stay but his son dismissed that and accused him of hiding in his room, despair gripped his heart as he tried to get his son to stay. Before long Jason had figured it out, and as usual he got furious. He has always been a smart kid, how could someone as smart as Jason end up in that life was beyond Abe. Once again Abe found himself in a screaming Match with his only son. He didn’t understand why something as normal and considerate as a simple meal would cause all that anger from his son.

Jason couldn’t believe how his father had turned a simple visit into WWIII, why does he has to always pull this fucken stunts was beyond Jason’s understanding. Why does he always has to remind Jason that he’s a loser it’s not like he could forget. But sometimes he can pretend that he’s just a normal son visiting his father, there is no need to remind him that he’s merely a homeless failure. Why just can’t he pretend, why does he has to push him while he’s already down.

It was easy for Phoebe to see where both of them were coming from. In one hand she had a desprate father trying to help his son, the only way he knew how. On the other there was a son who believes he’s a complete loser and that his father is merely rubbing it in. she wanted to shake both of them hard and make them open their eyes to see the simple truth. But she suspected that they would never allow themselves to see it. They were so different and yet so alike. All Phoebe could do was wishful thinking ,hoping that in the future they would choose to see what they disregard so willingly now, before it was too late.

THE END

Feminism !

Feminism, is a very interesting concept for me.
all my life i heard phrases like, women's right, feminism and equality. and to tell you the truth I never took the time of day to figure out do i actually believe in that or not. my own personal opinion was a blur. then lately that issue rose to the surface all of a sudden , Maybe it was because of too much Talkshowes that had to fill their airtime with something , or maybe i suddenly was old enough to care, or maybe women just went crazy or maybe it was about time women started talkin about what was rightfully theirs. whatever the reason I suddenly discovered I had an opinion, an opinion that shocks a lot of people who knows me. people around me have this misconception about me as being this independent, wanna-b-American, spoiled brat. I am not a Feminist so that surprise almost everyone around me, except few people who knows me well enough to realize that looks is deceiving.
I Honestly don't see women as in desperate need for help to have their rights. what really bothers me about Arab Feminists, is that a lot of them make couple of stupid mistakes for instance they claim that the "Arab" world is designed to automatically give the man more rights, when it's very evident that this is a GLOBAL issue, they claim that the "Civilized world" has given the women their rights while the fight for women's right is still fought even in America, of course gone is the times of bra burning, but by their own recognition it is still going on. and get me started about their stupid complains about how our society allow men to make some mistakes and denies women those same mistakes and their BIGGEST example is always pr-marital sex, how women are punished for the by death while men get away with it, it's a vaild point but how come every time thye talk about it they comeof as if they just want parents to be cool with their daughters having pre-marital sex instead of wanting partents to raise their sons not to do itreligion is usually their biggest obstacle some choose to get out of this predicament by claiming that the they (sheik and Imams) don't get it right some go as far as claiming that the religion is flawed like of course Nawal el Sadawy, some just ignore the religion all together.

A lot of men would tell you that most feminist are just ugly women who failed in live so they are taking their frustration out on men, I wish i could contradict that but sadly this is the picture that most feminist draw, when they talk you can easily see that they are pushed by merely stubbornness, or bitterness and sometimes even both, most of them refuse to listen to common sense I mean comeon people is it really that important to have women working in EVERY SINGLE JOB, we have to have a female judge, a female Ma2zone, a Female this, a female that! I do believe that some jobs are best preformed by a males some are best preformed by a females.
I also believe that men and women were created different but still equal, I just see equality in a different light. I don't have to be ina male dominate job to feel my equality, hell i don't even have to have a job. it sounds kinda pointless for both men and women to do the same jobs, it's like having a company filled with managers with no emplyees, if both men and women went to work how would raise children? usually anyself respecting feminist would simply tell you, why don't men stay at home and raise children ? and my answer is quite simple because women are better at raising children than men, they have more patients and more nurturing, it's in their nature. it doesn't make them less equal or less then men. We were created on this earth to worship God and to proliferate so raising a family is an imprtant part of our religion , and to raise a family we need a man and a woman. A man protect and a women nurture, it's not a master and slave realationship, it's a partnership and like any other partership ONE has to be in command not 2. Women are married by will, so basically the women gets to chose the man she's gonna live with and follow for the rest of her life, and both of them would follow God's Commands in thier life.
For me it's as simply as that, if you don't like that (as a women) then simply don't get married, (unlike men women are not required to get married in religion).
I am told that this is my view because I've never been to the real world, I've lived in my very own cocoon , a happy family, a privet school , a nice job ,driving my own car and hanging out with friends in cafes and Malls.
Maybe that's right, I don't have any male brothers so maybe I don't know how it feels to be treated as a second grade citizen (as femisits claim happens) but i do believe that this praticular problem which is the only problem I honestly feel for and see, have a very easy solution, instead of goin to talk shows and rallies and assosiations. stay home raise your kids and treat them equally tell your son, you and your sister are alike.
I am sorry but I don't see men as the enemy women are.

Freedom is a privilege not a right

First off i have to admit that I've been wanting to write something new for a long time now, but like I already told diva I wasn't in the mood at all and my mind felt completely empty not a single idea for so long but never the less I resisted writing this particular post for a long time , for me the general rule in my life is if i can't change it then i simply ignore it. so because i can't change it and all it does is bother me a lot. so i simply ignore it, but somehow i wasn't able to ignore this cause it kept running around in my brain and giving me a gr8 headache.
Rachel Corrie
Who is Rachel Corrie?
i admit that until couple of days ago I had no idea what's so ever who that person it, i avoid news about Palestine like the plague. sorry! but it frustrates me . it always feel like a person i knew and abandoned. I suddenly found myself facing a pieces of information saying that she was an American peace activist that was ran over by an Israelis bulldozer while attempting to stop an illegal destruction of a Palestinian house.
and I am ashamed to admit that what caught my attention is the fact that she's American. don't get me wrong i like Americans as the next person but it's well known that most Americans are more interested in internal affairs and most of them (not all just most) knows next to nothing about other countries especially Arabic ones. and also America the big monster . you'd read in an accident about people killed from all nationalities but if one American was injured America don't let it slide so easy, it's a rule that America doesn't allow ANYTHING or ANYONE to hurt Americans aboard. (I bet it feels great to know that your country would support you in time of need). so after reading for a while about Rachel Corrie, i surfed the net for news of the American reaction and found that they demanded an investigation which was done by "Israelis" and concluded that she was recluse and she "jumped" in front of the bulldozer despite various eye-witnesses that assured that wasn't how it happened and that the driver did it internationally.
and that was when it came to me that people who rules all across the world , be they kings, queens , Prime ministers , emperors or presidents. believe the same thing that "Freedom is a privilege not a right". No matter how hard they scream and shout the opposite of that. every country gives it's people a limited amount of freedom , sometimes it's a lot other times it's nothing, you can never exceed your amount. just like when the war at Afghanistan started among all the Taliban's there were an American ,I am not sure if there were others but am quit sure there was at least one, that person was treated just like the rest of Taliban like a terrorist and not one American objected ,at least not loud enough for international ppl to hear, what about his rights ? what about innocent until proven guilty , what about.... what about?
all this makes me think that living in a country like ours is at least more honest they don't pretend ,at least they didn't start to, that we have freedom of speech or any type of freedom. they simply tell us Freedom is a privilege and you don't deserve it . unlike all over the world were they teach them that Freedom is a right, but the fine print says as long as you don't stand in the way of bigger schemes. I think that's why a lot of the so-called civilized world get a shocked when they get ran over and left behind by their strongest country in the world.

this whole post starting to not make sense and lost all it's consistency and isn't even coherent and feels pompous and pretentious, so I apologize for anyone who read all this JUNK